The List

Looking for the GOLDEN LIST with TRANSFRIENDLY & QUEERfriendly venues in the Netherlands?
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PrEP for transmen: how to get it if you wanna get it on

Only fairly recently the Dutch government has made PrEP legally available and a little more affordable than it used to be. For me however 50 euros a month is too much still.
I know there is a way to get it through your own doctor here, and that there is 1 pharmacist in Amsterdam that buys it in bulk and sells it for 30 euros a month – but that’s still a lot for me + I might have to pay for the special medical exams.

It’s clear that FTM’s needs are not being met right now, even in the Netherlands. But the same goes for transwomen as well.

Before getting my pills under the counter I’m currently first trying to gather information on how PrEP for transmen works. Medically I mean. For cis men it takes only a few days for it to catch on, so they can frolic happily about and bareback with much less risk of catching HIV. Of course you can still catch other STI’s but HIV is one with a bigger impact than most others.

Here is a very informative video for beginners:

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Some more info after gathering it from several online resources:

PrEP offers trans men almost 100% protection against HIV when taken correctly.
PrEP offers trans men protection during both front hole and anal sex.

Starting PrEP

Trans men need to take PrEP every day for at least 7 days to reach maximum protection. Sometimes it can take up to three weeks, so take your medication daily, every day.


There are some side effects associated to PrEP use but a lot of people don’t experience any of them, and if they do it’s usually for a short period while their body adjusts to the drug.

How you take PrEP depends on the type of sex you have.

Continue reading →

Gender bending honorable mentioning


In the dark, there is a light. That never goes out. Long lost queers, kinksters without a face, art-loving romantics and the gender challenged. Where do they go when office-work kills them? Everybody knows that queers don’t die: they turn into glitter. And now this is within reach for all those who are looking for beauty. What I’m trying to say is: I have updated the GOLDEN LIST with trans/gender/queer-friendly venues and services for 2018!
Some venues lost their honorable mention but surely the good energy of the Rotterdam Gender Bending Queer Party at WORM has rightfully earned one. I hope this won’t attract any creeps.
If you are not creepy: find your new home here now:

Picture of me doing what I do:


Photo credit: Maarten Nauw.

Get caught in The Web



The Web in Amsterdam is 1 van de eerste café’s waar ik als transman zeer welkom werd geheten. Enkele jaren geleden vond ik het hoognodig en belangrijk dat al die saaie homo’s ook eens door zouden gaan krijgen hoe knap en geil transmannen eigenlijk kunnen zijn, dus toog ik enthousiast naar verschillende cruising plekken, met wisselend succes. The Web was samen met Club Church de enige die al wat ervaring had met de harige variant van het trans-spectrum en gaf mij zelfs enkele slimme veiligheids tips waar ik zelf nog niet aan gedacht had, zoals: eerst iemand oppikken in de bar, en op dat moment in die veilige ruimte je transstatus onthullen, in plaats van dit te doen op een niet zelf gekozen moment in de niet-bewaakte darkroom.

Daarom was ik natuurlijk waanzinnig blij toen ik hoorde dat notabene The Web nu een trans event heeft! Het draagt de vreemde naam “Kiss of a Spider Woman”  en lijkt een initiatief van de ogenschijnlijk-niet-trans-maar-toch-sympatieke DJ Bo Monde. Ik ben er nu 3x langs geweest. Vooral de eerste keren was het duidelijk dat een aantal reguliere klanten een beetje schrokken van de aanwezigheid van transvrouwen (de variant op hakken)  en niet veel weten van transmannen maar als je een evenement als dit lang genoeg volhoudt, dan komt dat wel goed.

Verandering behoeft een lange adem!
Dus geef het een kans: elke 3e donderdag van de maand in The Web.

Andere nieuwe hangouts:

  • The Kiki in Getto
    “Soulfood, cocktails, tea, salacious gossip, fine music, art and performance, a marvelous party where everyone is welcome to fight ennui, relax and celebrate the fabulousness of all the colours in the gender rainbow.”
  • en een nieuwe editie van kink BDSM voor trans* personen in Nijmegen op 17 december 2017.

Squirt aan de Waal


Nijmegen heeft er een nieuw feest bij voor wie wil spelen met seksualiteit, kink en meer. Het feest is geboren in de transgender gemeenschap van de stad in samenwerking met Squirt Du Soleil en verwelkomt open-minded queers, mannen, vrouwen en anderen. Kom langs en volg een korte workshop, drink een drankje en wie weet?

Bij de knusse bar met speelruimtes en darkroom van de Chaps is er de ruimte om te doen wat je wil. Niets hoeft, heel veel mag. Er zijn kluisjes en een douche aanwezig.

Zondag 12 maart 2017, 15.00-.21.00 uur

Locatie: Chaps

Workshops:  Continue reading →

The nasty 2016 and hope for 2017


So whenever people mention the disaster that was 2016, the first thing they mention is the death of David Bowie, which is indeed in my personal top 3 of utterly disillusioning depressing events of the-year-that-shall-not-be-mentioned. But let’s remind ourselves of two more anti-queer disasters: the horrendous Orlando shooting at Pulse and the anti-trans bathroom bill. Also the election of an orange twitter potato as US president should lead to worries about the future.

Brexit made things get ugly closer to home, in Europe, and there are many right-winged populist parties in the Netherlands, Germany and France that are quickly gaining potential votes for upcoming elections. I am very much against making a Godwin, but this all feels awfully familiair…

This is not the kind of life I was expecting to live 15 years ago, when I still thought everything, really everything could and would become more progressive. Around me though I here a lot of people encouraging each other to step up our games and fight the big fight all over again.

So what does this mean for this website? With its dynamic list of transfriendly venues? It means Continue reading →

The Blacklist has hipsters in it

hipster-dogI started the Golden List with transfriendly places a couple of years ago. About once every year I had to go back and update it, but this year I’ve found myself having to go back to it much more often. Not because , one would hope, there might be an increase of venues but actually because of the rapid disappearance of free zones.
And there is another trend: hipsters.
I am not against ‘hip’ people as a group, such negativity itself is now the trend and this one has anti-art and anti-intellectual characteristics that I think are very suspicious. What I definately don’t like however is the disappearance of squats and their replacement with hip venues that abuse the squatting and ‘Berlin’ aesthetics but sell coffee for 8 euros.

I have now finally extended and updated the BLACKLIST with examples of places that seem nice and creatively playful on first sight, but on closer look it turns out their ‘alternative’ outer shell is only skin deep, while serving a questionable crowd.
All the venues that I’ve put on the list so far are in Amsterdam but their style (and pricing) is spreading to the rest of the country. It’s a trend to ‘look-cheap-and-messy-yet-serve-super-expensive-junk-on-wooden-crates’. I think it’s fair to say this is not queerfriendly and it marginalizes economically precarious trans people even more. Continue reading →

Dutch event: Trans en bloot

Finally there’s a Dutch equivalent to the widely-acclaimed TransBare All retreat. If you don’t speak Dutch but wish to attend anyway, contact the organisation. I’m sure it will be great, so be quick!:


Meld je uiterlijk 24 april aan!

Eerste Trans & Bloot Weekend voor transmannen

imagesearchBegin mei 2015 organiseert het vernieuwende Trans & Bloot Weekend. Tijdens dit weekend bieden we een afwisselend programma met diverse workshops rondom het thema “thuis voelen in je lichaam”. Aanmelden voor het weekend kan tot en met 24 april. Dus… hak de knoop door en meld je snel aan!

Het Trans & Bloot Weekend (TBW) is van 1 t/m 3 mei 2015. Tijdens het TBW zijn er diverse workshops, waarin we praten, voelen, ervaringen uitwisselen en/of creatief bezig zijn. Het programma is afwisselend, zodat er voor ieder wat wils is. Continue reading →

Back to square one

Amsterdam is changing, and not for the better. It seems that everything we have been fighting for the past 30 years is flushed down the drains. The recent evictions of all major squats have meant that my Golden List of Transgender-friendly venues is now almost cut by a third. Week by week I have to delete entries because they no longer exist.
And the general public? They eat this up with much delight. Not realizing that squatters spent a lot of time and energy preserving these buildings, hosting events for a diverse community, providing life with more than just survival value for those of low income and developing creative spaces. These kinds of places are what keep a city alive and with it’s ending the essence of urban Amsterdam dies.
Yes I am angry, but mostly sad. We have been living in a neo-restrictive neo-conservative fearocracy since 2001 now and the ending is not in sight yet.
We need spaces for minorities, for trans* people without papers and for poor queers to keep on feeding ourselves with new ideas, away from the mainstream. I will keep on looking for safe trans/gender/queer spaces, but it’s getting harder and harder Continue reading →

My genitalia on TV

I’ve been on Dutch national television, explicitly speaking about my “man cunt” and cruising as a proud transman with cis gay men. As part of the television series “Tent & Seks” by Sunny Bergman which breaks ground slowly but surely.
I’m being interviewed on a bunch of pillows in a tent in episode 3 of this series, named ‘Out of the Box’. About the fluidity of sexual preference and the fluidity of gender. This episode was broadcasted on july the 31st 2014.
I’m not super happy with the quotes they decided to take from me (the editing process was something I had no control over) but my real and only purpose to be in this was to show to the Dutch viewers that genderqueer/gay transmen’s existence is not some weird freakish Berlin/San Francisco phenomena, but that we also exist in the muddy landscape of Holland.
It’s in Dutch but there are many English speaking people in it as well. Amongst them two transvestites who verbalize their sense of self really well + two elderly gay bears that speak about how the mainstream doesn’t perceive them as gay while they are in fact deeply in love.

Watch all the other episiodes here too:
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