Cruising guide for transmen

The new year is here and I have updated the ever popular Golden List with *new* transfriendly venues in the Netherlands.
I am happy to say some major progress has taken place, since the all new gay sauna Nieuwezijds has included the ‘safe sex for transmen’ link! This is a first for the Netherlands really, for a gay venue to visibly be inclusive towards transmen.
It must have something to do with the fact that the ever so friendly people of Church are behind this. Quite avant garde.
At the moment their space is actually not safe enough for transmen, but they’ve only just started.
Read all about it in the updated Golden List under the letter ‘N’ of Nieuwezijds.

cartoonThe STD info page on the website is currently the only explicit and practical hands-on safe sex page for FTM’s in Dutch.
This year a rather more subdued, but very respectable, new site for Dutch transgender youth was put online. And I am happy to have been part of the info-leaflet. The leaflet has been spread all around the nation and I drew the full-page illustration for it + there’s a small interview with me about cruising.

I am pondering on what practical recommendations I could give for transmen particularly, and note that my experiences are set within the Dutch cultural and social context ofcourse and that I am Dutch myself. Also, this blog you’re looking at is very particularly focused on sex, sex, sex and a bit of culture/parties. This year my plan is to focus more on deeper connections, focusing on passive vs. active, and love relationships with gay identified cis men. If I would give suggestions now, it would look something like this:
– when going into a cruising bar, make sure you actually wear a limp packing device because you’re almost certainly going to be grabbed in the groin, which threatens your trans-privacy at an unexpected moment (the key thing here is: if you wish to disclose yourself, you should be able to do this at a moment of your own choice…)
– make up your own mind about wether you wish to disclose your trans status on your dating profiles or not, don’t let anyone tell you that you ‘should’ be open about it immediately before people even know you (and more important: before you even know THEM)
– just do it, go out there. Dutch gay men are a lot less afraid of gender than in other, more binary countries

There is SO much to say about all of these situations, I am actually hoping you transguys out there will just send me a list of questions so I can give some kind of guide in a more structured way. Also: you cis gay guys out there, if you are curious about transmen but dare not ask, hit me up so can I expand my page with info for gay/bi/queer men who are interested in transmen. Although actually Eros in San Franciso is already doing that fabulously within an American context.
So: don’t be afraid and contact me – or, if you’re into public exchanges, post comments below.

TransGold is now also on Twitter:
Happy cruising and happy new year!


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